Violet Diamond
by Violet Enigma
Summary: A dark retelling of the Champion's tale. The terrible truth behind Varric's light-hearted version. Hawke's struggle to survive in a world that seems allied against her. Slight AU, MA for rape, incest, sexual content and other dark themes.
1. Lost Innocence

A/N: This is an idea I had as a dark retelling of the Champion's story. Depending on the interest in the tale, I may continue with it, so please review and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: Dragon Age is owned by Bioware, I just like to fool around.

* * *

People have often asked me how I managed to make so much money as a Fereldan refugee, especially my good friend Varric. For all his spy network and connections, I'm honestly surprised he didn't find out sooner. Now with the destruction of the chantry, as I run from the destruction of Kirkwall, I am left with nothing once again and may have to fall back on an old job. But before I get ahead of myself, perhaps I should start at the beginning, or near the beginning.

My name is Cordelia "Dia" Hawke, I'm an apostate. I know everyone knows my story, or they _think_ they know my story. Varric, though he did try, couldn't really give you all the details so I'm hear to fill you in. It's time the world knew that the infamous apostate, who sided with the mages with the lover who blew up the chantry, never had it easy in the beginning.

I won't bore you with the tale of how I got to Kirkwall. You know the story: barely escaped Lothering, darkspawn nipping at our heels, meeting Aveline and her husband, baby sister being killed by an ogre, being saved by Flemeth and finally arriving in Kirkwall, the city of chains. Home of the self-righteous bitch Meredith Stonnard, the woman I loathe more than anything. But again, I'm getting ahead of myself.

My family's arrival in Kirkwall wasn't friendly; in fact we were down right hated. Hated for not being Kirkwallers, not being Marchers, and most importantly for being a "blight" on their fair city. Fair city my arse, this city has more problems then it ever knows what to do with and I should know, I tried to fix them all. Tried being the operative word, and Varric's mumbling in my ear that I'm getting off point again.

Gamlen, my sleaze of an uncle, made us wait for three days in the gallows. Three days! I'm an apostate, do you have any idea how nerve wracking that can be? Watching the templars pass by several times a day, and praying they don't notice my magical ability. Finally after his arrival, we found out that not only had he spent all the family fortune and lost the estate, but we were going to have to work for a year to pay off the coin to get into the city. I tried to suggest catching a new boat and going somewhere else, but Carver wouldn't hear of it, he insisted we stay, so we stayed.

I spoke to Athenril first; she needed us to talk to a merchant in the Gallows and make him pay money he apparently owed the elven smuggler. The guy paid me two sovereigns to walk away, I did. Aveline wasn't happy about that but I argued that we had just a few coppers in our pockets between the four of us and two sovereigns was big coin. When we talked to Meeran, he wanted us to kill some corrupt nobleman who'd been double dealing. This, this I could do. We killed the nobleman and his lackeys without too much trouble and Meeran quickly got us out of there before the templars came to investigate the magic being used in the courtyard. Thus began our year of indentured servitude.

Servitude, it's what it was. We didn't get paid; we worked for free either killing or guarding people with enough coin to pay the Red Iron. My brother seemed to enjoy working as a mercenary, his swearing vocabulary nearly doubled. Meeran couldn't keep his grubby paws off me the few times Carver wasn't around. He insisted I "belonged" to him, and he could get his money in any form he chose. This wasn't the first time I had to trade sexual favors for freedom, so I let him. I know fair readers this was not the turn you expected, but living as an apostate and depending on the quiet of others to keep your secret, should it be learned, required some drastic measures to survive. I learned that the hard way one year living in Lothering.

* * *

I nineteen and was away from the farm, swimming in a small river. Father had given me permission to take the afternoon off after learning a new spell. I believed I was alone, so I was without my clothes or smalls, I didn't want to have to dry them, and they were sitting on the bank ready for me to slip into them again once I was done. I was enjoying the feel of the hot sun beating down on my long black hair, the cool water caressing my voluptuous female body. The babbling of the stream made it difficult to hear anything other than my own breathing until a lecherous voice rang out from the bank where my clothes were resting.

"Well, well. A little mage undressed and ready for me," the templar sneered at me. "It must be my lucky day."

"Please sir," I replied, trying to cover my nakedness in the clear water. "I'm not a mage. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me girl," he spat. "I can sense the magic on you."

I was terrified for my life. My staff was on the shore, hidden in some brush well out of my reach. The templar was also covering the only stretch of bank that was easy to climb out of, it's why I came to this spot. I was treading water but unsure what the templar wanted from me. Even though I was nineteen, I had never even kissed a boy before, let alone been looked at the way the ugly templar was looking at me now. Being an apostate in hiding didn't allow one to pursue romantic involvement.

"Come here," he ordered, so I swam to the edge of the tributary but didn't climb out.

"I said come here!" he yelled, pointing at a spot on the ground right in front of him.

I slowly walked out of the brook and stood on the spot he indicated, trying to cover my naked curves and looking at the ground. He grabbed my chin and forced my face to look at his own, smiling at me before bruising my lips with his own.

"You're a sweet thing," he tried to coo after breaking the painful kiss. "Let's see how untouched you are. If you scream, I will take you to the circle."

He threw me to the ground, and pinned my arms above me with one strong arm. I tried to fight, kicking at him without screaming. He hit the side of my face and while I was stunned from the pain he pinned my legs too. His gloved hand probed my sex, and when he discovered my intact membrane, he laughed with glee and malice.

"Oh this is going to be fun," he grinned as he began fumbling with his templars skirt, and pulled his erect member free. Again he warned me: "You scream and I take you to the circle."

He forced himself inside me, and I howled with my lips closed, the pain so terrible. I bit my lip to keep from screaming, as he raped me, groaning out his satisfaction at my tight channel. He grabbed my full breasts, pain lancing through them as well. He was too strong, and my freedom was at risk so I let him take what he wanted. I had to survive. After a few moments of him violating me, he shuddered and I felt a warm liquid fill my womb.

"Go clean up," he ordered after the tremors of his climax had passed. I slowly rose from lying on the ground, the pain embracing my body made me move slowly. I looked down at my legs, and silent tears fell as I saw blood and semen on my thighs. "If you tell anyone, I will find you, kill your family and take you to the circle. You will meet me here every week or the same thing will happen."

I submerged in the cool water, wanting to die as his words entered my ears. Every week he was going to rape me. Every week I had to find a way to survive this torture. My family needed to survive, I needed to survive. I had to act as though nothing was wrong, my father was too astute. Thankful for the healing magic father had taught me, I healed my face, the red welt beginning to purple where he struck me with his gauntlet. I also healed the sore muscles and flesh between my legs, so it was easier for me to walk. I stayed in the stream, waiting for my shame and tears to fade before getting dressed and heading home.

Father was none the wiser that day, and for three years after I met with the templar to ensure my family's survival. As time passed, as sad as it is to say, it got easier. Three years of sexual abuse makes you numb, makes you jaded, it turns you hard. My father began to notice the change, slow as it was. My laughter wasn't so free, my jokes became forced, my smile never quite reached my eyes, I shied away from contact, and I spent more and more time alone. I should have realized my father was watching me so closely, maybe if I had, I wouldn't have met the templar that day.

I had gone to meet the bastard of a templar at our normal time, in our normal spot. Spring was in the air, but the air still held a chill as winter tried to keep its hold on the area. I was running late because father had been trying to keep me home. So when I got to the stream, the templar was already there waiting for me. He hated when he had to wait. Today was going to be filled with pain.

When I grew close enough to him, he struck me for making him wait. Then he forced me to kneel, as he withdrew his penis and I had to pleasure him with my mouth. Granted for me it wasn't really pleasure, more him holding my head as he forced himself in and out. If I got any ideas about using teeth to cause him pain, he always pulled out clumps of my hair. I stopped using teeth a long time ago. He closed his eyes as he hammered away at my mouth, moaning in joy at his sex slave. I closed my eyes too, trying to block out the sights and sounds. Suddenly warm droplets were falling on my face and the smell of copper infused the air. The templar gurgled, and I popped my eyes open to witness a familiar sword sticking out of the templar's chest. The templar fell over dead, and I turned to see my father's face: rage, shame, and resignation etched into every line.

"What have you done?" I screamed at him, getting up from my knees.

"Protecting you," my father replied, wiping the blade clean on the templars skirt.

"No, that's what I've been doing for three years," I cried out.

"Three years?" Malcolm rounded on me. "This has been going on for three years and you didn't tell me?"

"He said he would kill you all if I told," I shouted. "He said he would take me to the tower. You've always taught us about survival. Sticking together. That's what I did!"

"Is that what he told you?" my father questioned. "Is that what he made you believe? That you had to sell yourself, your innocence, in order for us to survive? Oh my sweet girl. Dia, this is what is wrong with the templars. Men like that man."

"It worked," I pointed out. "I kept the family safe for three years. I made sure he never found out about Beth or you, and I made sure he never killed Carver and mother. And now what are we going to do? The templars at the chantry will know he's missing, I know Ser Bryant doesn't turn _you_ in because you heal the people but they won't let a murder go unpunished."

By this time father noticed the welt on my face, and when he moved to touch it, I flinched away from his touch. Sadness entered his eyes, as his hand glowed blue to heal away the mark of where I had been struck. I waited until the healing warmth faded before our shared violet eyes met again.

"How are we going to fix this?" I questioned again.

"We wait, since I killed him with a sword instead of magic there will be no trace of a mage crime," my father explained, looking at the body. "There has been some bandit activity near the highway, maybe we could take the body there and dump it. The chantry will think he was killed there. Go home and get the horse, we'll use Clover to get him out of here faster."

I hurried to the farmstead to follow father's orders. Before grabbing Clover, I went inside and grabbed a large blanket, in order to cover the templar's body. The twins and mother were getting one of the fields ready for planting, so they weren't anywhere near the house or barn. I saddled Clover, got on and rode out to the river where my father and the dead templar were waiting. I had only been gone about an hour, but already there were three templars standing with my father. Even from my 30 meters, my father met my eyes but I knew enough not to go any closer. I watched in horror as one of the templars stabbed my father in the gut before the group picked up their comrade and carried the bastard away.

Once they were out of sight, I rode to father. Jumping off Clover before dropping her lead on the ground, she had been trained not to move in these instances. I ran to his body, hoping I wasn't too late to save him.

"Dia," he gurgled out. "It's time for you to take care of the family. Look after them."

"Maybe I can still heal you," I insisted, my shaking hands turning blue as they hovered over his abdomen. As soon as my magic probed his body, I knew it was too late. The templars blade had hit on of his lungs, as well as several major systems. He was dying in my arms and it was my fault. "I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do."

"I know," Malcolm sounded resigned to his fate, blood spilling from his lips as he tried to talk. "I'm just sorry I wasn't able to protect you sooner."

"This is my entire fault," I began to cry as I watched my father's life slip away right before me.

"No sweet girl, it's mine" father insisted. "Tell everyone I love them. Remember to take care of them."

Despite my father's words, I knew they were untrue. I hadn't protected the family and now father was paying the price. It was my fault. My tears poured from my purple eyes as I watched father's eyes grow dim. I kissed his forehead, as he used to kiss mine when I was younger, before he took his final breath. I stayed there with father's body, crying over my failure but I vowed to protect the family as I couldn't protect him.

Dusk was settling over the area when the twins and mother found me clutching father's body. They had seen Clover from the farmstead, and came to find out what was going on. They mourned father's death at templar hands. I gave them the time they needed and stepped away, not deserving to participate in the death I had caused.

I never told the family what happened, why it happened, they only knew father had been killed by templars. That was all they needed to know.


	2. A New Profession

Finally after a year of serving with Meeran, Carver and I were free. Meeran tried to con more time out of us, hoping for more "fun" with me but I stood my ground and refused. It pissed Meeran off, and he swore he would make me pay for spurning him, but I didn't care. Now we could start to live, to find jobs, and make money.

However, there's just one problem with trying to make money so you can live, if you can't find a job you've got shit. My brother applied to work as a guard with Aveline. Being a mage, I couldn't be a guard and sadly the only place I could find work was at the Blooming Rose. Apparently Madam Lucine liked my exotic look, and gave me a five year contract. My long midnight tresses, full lips, and violet eyes were assured to get me lots of work and regulars. The pay was good and would allow me to support the family, even if Carver never found work.

Lucine was even kind enough to give me an advance so I could buy some clothes that would please the customers. She sent Jethann with me to purchase the clothing I would need. He was so excited for a new face and the chance to create an identity for that face. He brought me to a clothier in Hightown since Lucine wanted me to be dressed as one of their top of the line whores. She hoped to increase my prices as I became more of a demand.

"Oh honey," Jethann squealed in excitement. "This is going to be so much fun!"

"If you say so," I shrugged, looking through the lacey robes.

"With that kind of attitude you'll never keep your clients," he admonished me. "If you don't have experience in this kind of work, why do it?"

"It pays money," I replied, pulling out a couple of the lace robes to try on. "I have a family to look after."

"Me too!" Jethann gasped. "I have a squid of a wife, how about you honey?"

"Just my mother and brother," I admitted. "But we currently live in a shack in Lowtown that smells like cabbage with my greasy uncle. I need to be able to take care of them and try to find somewhere new to live."

"I understand," he came to me his arms loaded with items and forced me back into a changing room to try on the items he dumped in my arms.

I tried on the first outfit, it was a black full breast corset with lacy panels in-between the ribbing that showed off my lean stomach. The corset pushed up my full breasts, and made me feel as if I was going to fall out. There were black lacy smalls that matched the corset. Jethann threw black stocking for me to put on after he helped me tighten the corset that went up to my thighs ending in lace which were held in place by straps on the corset. I pulled on a black lace robe, and black heels to complete the outfit before revealing the complete outfit to Jethann.

"Oh honey, if we can make all your outfits look this good, you will never want for work," he cooed at my appearance before turning me to a mirror I had been avoiding looking into. "Play up those purple eyes with some charcoal, add a little rouge to your lips and cheeks, curl this lovely hair and you'll never want for coin for your family."

"You think so," I smirked into his deep blue eyes.

"I know so," he replied adamantly. "Try on another one."

The next outfit was similar to the black, except it was white in color. I thought it made me look washed out. Jethann insisted it made me look like an angel.

"What are you going to call yourself? Unless you want people to know your name," Jethann asked after trying a couple quick ideas with my hair for the white lace.

"I don't know," I replied honestly. "I didn't know that we could change our names."

"Most of us have nicknames we go by in the log," Jethann explained, stepping out of the room to let me change again. "For instance Idunna is called the 'Exotic Wonder of the East' even though she's a Kirkwaller and grew up in Darktown. Serendipity goes by her name, but that's because she's changed it and no one knows what it really is."

"What about you?" I interrupted while changing into a deep purple silk number.

"I've been doing this too long to care anymore," Jethann replied, lacing up the corset for her again. "But Lucine wants you to be special, she likes your look and I can understand why. What's your name honey?"

"Cordelia, my family calls me Dia," I replied, letting him examine me in the purple number.

"Wow," he gasped, staring at my eyes. "Purple is good for you, we'll try to work as much of this color into your wardrobe as we can. How about Violet?"

"Isn't violet a color of purple?"

"No, no. For your name."

"That could work," I took off the purple outfit and began climbing into a pale pink silk.

"In the books we could call you the Fereldan Violet Diamond," Jethann continued.

"Probably leave Fereldan out, otherwise I might not have any business," I pointed out.

"Good point," Jethann agreed. "Eww, no pink. Sorry honey, but that's not a good color for your skin take it off. So you'll just be billed the Violet Diamond, that should also help the higher clientele Lucine is trying to pull in for you."

"Jethann, I don't want to make enemies already," I admitted, looking a little nervous while pulling on a cobalt blue outfit.

"Don't worry about that, Lucine always tries to get everyone high profile clientele. Just some don't stick to high profile. I'm great with the forgotten housewives and husbands with pregnant wives. Idunna is good with templars and all that repression. Serendipity is great with everyone, but especially lonely, older noblemen. Lucine just wants to try to find a market to stick you in, and nobleman pay better than the stiffs from Lowtown."

We tried on several more outfits, with Jethann vetoing many colors. After a few hours, he finally settled on black, white, deep purples, and a pale green that reminded me of new leaves in spring. We charged the clothes to Lucine and he took me back to the house to get me set up in my own private room. The room came with just a bed, a wardrobe, a fireplace and a changing screen. Jethann informed me that I can decorate it as I see fit over the next few years because no one else would use this room. I finally took a chance as he helped me unpack my new garments and hang them in the wardrobe.

"Jethann, I have a confession," I began.

"You've never done this before?" He was good.

"Not consentingly," I whispered.

"Oh honey," he turned to me. "I'm sorry that happened to you, where's the bastard?"

"My father killed the first one," I replied, feeling a connection with this flamboyant elf.

"Well good for him," he declared before pulling me to the bed. "I know this whole thing can seem scary, but tell you what. I'll give you a couple lessons, help you work on a signature, and make sure Lucine eases you into the work."

"You don't have to do that," I whispered meeting his sapphire eyes.

"I don't have to, but you don't need to be crying your pretty eyes out with the first client you have," Jethann whispered. "That's what happened to me, couldn't get it up. Pissed the woman off to no end and later she became my wife, go figure."

I laughed quietly with Jethann before he got up and locked my door. He came back to sit with me on the bed and leaned in giving me a gentle kiss before he broke it off and studied me for a moment.

"What happened to the second guy?" he finally asked, realizing what I said earlier.

"Meeran, still around sadly." I shrugged. "My brother and I had to work for the Red Iron for a year to get passage into the city. He would sometimes have me sleep with him instead of do other jobs. He tried to con us into another month but I refused, knowing when we had started working for him."

"Honey, how were you a mercenary?" Jethann pulled back and examined me closely.

"Can you keep a secret?" I giggled, and Jethann nodded enthusiastically. "Me too!"

"Hey come on, I offer to sleep with you for free and you can't tell me?"

I look closely at the elf before I hold up my open palm and blue and black magic swirls in my hand before I put it out.

"I'll be damned. An apostate?" Jethann whispered, and I nodded. "You could tell Lucine, templars love apostates it's why Idunna's so popular."

"No, the fewer people who know right now, the better. I can't take care of my family if I'm in the circle."

Jethann nodded in understanding before leaning in to kiss me again. The next two hours he coached me on ways to drive men crazy, make them come back for more, and how to fake an orgasm if it was needed.


	3. Disturbing Truth

A/N: This chapter features incest/rape between Hawke and a male family member, you have been warned so read at your own disgression!

* * *

I had been working at the Rose for a few weeks, and true to her word, Lusine eased me into the job. I had a few regulars already, mostly prissy nobleman's sons who couldn't get laid and not once when I was in their company did I wonder why. But I did my part, played the role well, and they kept coming back for my "understanding" company, what a laugh. I shouldn't complain about all my customers, some of them were good men and always seem to talk about whisking me away from this life and making me their wife, granted I knew that wasn't possible since most of them were married…

But I digress from the story, and I should warn you my dear readers this is a most unpleasant story. Nearly a month at the Rose, and I was amazed my family hadn't discovered my secret yet. I told many lies about work that would keep me out all night or up very late, this appeased them and thought it was just more mercenary-type work. That night it all changed, when the second worst possible client walked though my private bedroom door.

"Not so high and mighty now," Gamlen sneered, seeing me waiting for him in the room.

"Uncle, what are you doing here?" I gasped, trying to cover up but failing miserably.

"I came to try the new _whore_," he chuckled, locking the door behind him. "Never thought it would be you."

"Well as you can see, it's your niece," I stated, finding a solid silk robe in my wardrobe to cover up. "I'm sorry for whatever confusion may have occurred I can pay you back if you like."

"Oh no," Gamlen stalked toward me filling my heart with dread. "I came here to fuck and I paid good money to get it done with the new girl."

"You can't be serious," I clutched the silk robe tightly to my throat.

"I always did have an unwholesome attraction to Leandra, you look a little like her when she was younger," he admitted, stroking my cheek and causing me to shudder in horror. "Except the eyes, you have _his_ eyes. I suppose you, her daughter, will suffice."

"Uncle, please," I begged, hoping he really wouldn't go through with this.

"That's right, beg," he growled at me ripping my hands away from the silk robe and pushing it from my shoulders. "I want to hear you beg."

I could only stand there, revulsion washing through me as he began caressing my body. This was worse than the templar. Gamlen was supposed to protect me. He was supposed to be family. My reaction to his touch must not have been pleasing because next thing I know he had slapped me, and I was sent sprawling across the bed. I tried to beg him to stop one more time, but he only hit me again before he tore open my corset. His rough hands began kneading my breasts in a painful manner, his mouth bent to pull one nipple into his mouth sucking at my flesh to turn him on.

"The first time I saw you in the Gallows," he grunted, pulling my lacy smalls down my legs. "I thought I was seeing a ghost, her ghost, until you turned and looked at me with those bloody purple eyes. I still got hard seeing you because you looked so much like Leandra." I cowered on the bed, afraid to move as he continued to talk and remove his own clothes.

"Everyday I see you it's like seeing her all over again before she was stolen by that bloody apostate. I was so angry with her for years, and now she's back and she brings back her daughter who looks so much like her. And to top it all off you brought his taint back with you, a bloody apostate just like him with those unnatural eyes. I couldn't have you then, but I will have you now."

Gamlen crawls on top of me, pinning me like the templar did the first time. He drives himself into me, panting my mother's name as he caresses my body with one of his hands. I retreat into the place I made when I was with the templar, not wanting to be here with my uncle inside me. I still vaguely feel him kissing my body and cooing that he loves me, me being Leandra, but I block it out. I block out the agony that this is a family member. I block out the shame on my mother's behalf, a little grateful she doesn't know this about her brother. I block out the way he always seems to smell like boiled cabbage.

There is no pleasure in this for me, unlike some of the other men I've been with since I got this job, I want this done as fast as possible so I retreat within myself. I'm vaguely aware of his stuttered breath as he nears completion before he shudders on top of me, and his warm seed fills me. He pulls out, and rolls over sighing in contentment. At this point, I realize just how sick my uncle really is, he's held onto an incest driven obsession and my only hope is that he never wants to again.

"I love you, Leandra," he says one last time before getting up and getting dressed. He thankfully closes the door behind me, and I lay in bed stunned at what just happened.

Shame and revulsion wash over me, and I grab the silk robe from the floor and dash toward the shared privy on this floor. I ignore one of the elves cleaning up and stumble to one of the chamber pots, heaving into it to rid the shame roiling in my belly. The elf notices, and no doubt runs off to tell Lusine of my transgression. We're required to prevent pregnancy in any way possible, it's in our contract and if we happen to become pregnant we'll lose out job. By this point I'm dry heaving into the pot, but I can't stop the humiliation rolling through me.

"I hope you're not pregnant already," Lusine stated sternly. I hear her move to stand behind me, and I continue to heave. I take a few deep breaths, to try and calm my stomach before I turn to my employer.

"I'm not, I take the herbs," I confirmed. "Can I ask a favor?"

"I suppose that depends," Lusine answered, looking a little doubtful.

"Do not schedule Gamlen Amell with me anymore," the indignity rolled through me once more and I started trying to drain the contents of my empty stomach again.

"What did he do?" she asked, protectively. I think she started to notice the red marks where he struck me but I wasn't worried about that.

"He's my uncle," I explained once I calmed my stomach again.

"Did he…?" Lusine's eyes widened in understanding and all I could do was nod. "Bastard. I can make sure he never steps foot in this place again."

"No," I interrupted before she could leave. "It'll only make it harder for me at his house. Just make me unavailable, busy, full schedule. Tell him anything just don't let him…with me…"

"I understand," Lusine patted my head before turning to go.

"Carver Hawke too," I stated loudly enough before she left. "He's my brother and I know he favors Faith right now but just in case he changes his mind."

"Of course," Lusine nodded, turning to leave but stopped before exiting. "It's Jethann's rest day, I'll send him in to help you. Take the rest of the night off, I'll apologize to your customers and say you fell ill."

Gratitude swept through me at Lusine's understanding. She was tough when it came to the business end of things, and she could push us to try some unsavory things sometimes but if there was a real problem she would listen and try to make it work. Knowing that I would never have to face the indignity of my uncle here, my stomach calmed. I leaned the cheek my uncle had struck against the cool stone of the bathroom wall, welcoming the feeling of its caress against my angry skin. I would wait to heal my cheek until I was safely within my room, the bathroom was too open and I didn't need any witnesses.

Jethann rushed into the bathroom, a glass of water in one hand and a look of concern darkening his sapphire eyes. He spotted me on the floor and fluttered to my side, handing me the water.

"Oh honey, what happened?" he asked squatting in front of me, cupping my cheek with his hand.

I took the water from him taking a couple gulps to swirl in my mouth before I spit them into the chamber pot. Once my mouth felt cleaner I began taking slow sips before meeting the brilliant blue eyes of the elf in front of me. He must have noticed the anguish still in my eyes so he helped me up and took me to my room before closing the door and listening to my story. I managed to stammer it out, between sips of the water to keep me from running to the privy, and when I was finished Jethann was furious.

"Honey, if I had room at my place I would have you live with me," Jethann fumed. "As it stands most of the time I spend the night here just to get away from my slug of a wife, so that won't help you much. Although you could stay here too, Lusine won't care it is your room after all and most of the whores don't have another home."

"I might be able to stay here sometimes, but not all the time," I explained. "My mother would worry too much, so I do need to stay at my uncle's place occasionally. I just hope he doesn't want a revisit of this encounter."

A shudder wracked through my body at the thought of Gamlen lusting after me when I was home. Jethann noticed, and excused himself for a moment. He was gone a couple minutes before coming back with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Lusine and Quintus don't like it when we drink on the job," Jethann mused. "But since Lusine gave you the night off and it's my rest day, why the void not?"

I chuckled lightly as he poured the red wine into the glasses and I relieved him of one once it was full. We sit on my bed, drinking together as he told me funny stories from his past working here to help me forget my evening. When the bottle of wine was gone, Jethann found a silk sleep shirt for me, and like a doting mother tucked me into my bed before leaving and locking the door behind him. I was thankful for the elf who was quickly becoming such a good friend as I snuggled into my bed. The wine helped ease my passing into the fade, but my lightened mood didn't last long as demons plagued me, wanting me to seek revenge.

* * *

I woke up next to the stream in Lothering, the templar standing there forcing himself on me as he had done so many times. I blocked out the nightmare, knowing the man was dead already and could no longer hurt me.

_Kill him. Burn him. Seek your revenge._

"No demon, this man is dead, killed by my father. Be gone."

But the image changed and it was no longer the templar forcing himself on me, but my uncle. The revulsion started anew as these images flooded my senses, still too fresh to hide.

_He is not dead. Kill him. Burn him. Seek your revenge._

"No demon, he is family. I will not kill him for being sick and twisted. Leave me!"

The image morphed around me and I'm in the distance watching as my father is killed by templars.

_I could help you save him. I know you desire him back in your life._

"I will always miss my father, but I will take no bargain from you." The image changed from my father and the templars to poor Bethany being smashed into the ground by the ogre.

_I could help you save her. Then you will no longer be so despised by your brother. I know you desire this._

"Bethany…" I whispered as the image repeated itself again and again. Tears were running down my face as the demon forced me to watch her death by the ogre's hand multiple times. "You will not tempt me! You cannot bring the dead back to life. I will not deal with you!"

The demons were relentless, they knew how to wear me down but I never gave in. When I bolted upright from my demon fueled nightmares, I was covered in sweat and the first rays of daylight could be seen out my window. I lay back down in bed, healing the headache forming at my temples from the wine Jethann and I consumed last night and checking to see if my cheek had bruised where Gamlen struck me. I shut my eyes, unsure if sleep would actually find me, but soon darkness engulfed me and I slept undisturbed by demons.


End file.
